im dying

last paper, go shuk

(2006-12-05) |


i wont update so much after my exams and will fix my damn blog. promise promise.
ive so much more media stuff to go. ahh, okay.

i feel like putting a password to this blog or move so certain people cant be obessed and read my entries aloud(im jokin, like whoever does that? i mean like the person must have bipolar disorder and is in the mania state).
btw, i dont think i am refering to anyone. puns intended(i guess).

media time!

(2006-12-04) |


i shall not think about the fact that everyone is enjoying their stupid holiday while i still have a paper to go. it's okay, media is very interesting. i get to learn about mao, sexual issues and all that juicy advertising gossips. so fun =/ im so lovin' it. have fun and keep it to yourself for now.

(2006-12-04) |


today did not turn out that bad? the later part was good. i was grouchy and all. my parents insisted that i go for dinner with them. had a nice dinner with them and lu's parents at waterfront. the seafood platter was so good. then walked a while. my mum was more interested in what there is in prada than the night scenery. i saw the bag i once owned in there, reason- i got robbed.
anyway, i got my valedictory stuff from miss sixty. formal i guess.

i guess i need to remind myself that ive another paper to go?

(2006-12-03) |

fucked up

my internet is screw, dvd player is spoilt or is it tv(i dont care), my fridge is leaking. fucking college sq is sucha pain the ass. i cant surf properly or use msn. i am so glad i am moving out in NINE days! my family got a shock the moment they came in when i thought it is so neat. okay whatever.


tram - my most frequent transport in melb

parents on the tram

manpin and i


family on the tram(first ever time we took public transport together!)


champagne! he look so haggard. i miss him!

(2006-12-03) |


my family is here! i woke up so damn early to meet them when i slept like at 4am. so sleepy now. manpin's sleeping. she said my place is so messy when it is so neat. she is gross out? shit her lah. anyway, i intended not to go valedictory but my mum said my dad specially got a jacket for it? i have to go. they specially came for that too.
went shopping just now, have not shop enough but too sleepy. chengwei, my parents and maybe family likes big pony too. spore sold out, they want to go buy. lol.

(2006-12-02) |

on the way

my sleeping pattern is screwed up. it's not funny anymore. i think i'll be going out to shisha a lil later. this damn place feels damn stuffy.

shisha is healthy according to ray, medicine school okay if vet science is counted
ray says:
it is made of herbs thus no damage will be made

oh ya, ive one more paper left. on tuesday. what a spoiler!
media&communication this term = advertising, brands, youth culture, china/spore media, murdoch, disney.
i dont mind being in the world of advertising, owning the branded good, be part of the youth culture, go anti china, spore media, knowing murdoch as scheming and exploring disney themeparks
BUT i mind studying all that.

(2006-12-02) |


it's nearly 4am. i have been surfing the net and chatting non stop. ive been bumming ard, going out a lil, dvds. anyway, psy was bad. fuck la, my future gone. can i repeat trinity again? i dont mind doing it again. i'll make it good this time, realllyyyy but then i wont be cool getting into univ at 17. i am so shitass proud about that fact fullstop. dont comment. im cranky. nights

(2006-12-01) |

someone just shoot me

my head is aching like a bitch
i have exam tmr which im extremly screwed for.
the edu agency pple called me and said rmit requested a fucking portfolio. ask me to prepare? if rmit dont give me conditional offer, i die die DIE. i dont want to go to anywhere esle.
but first - my grades.
oh noooooo, i have ard 15 hours to the next paper. maybe more. ive note even read all the chaps yet, dont talk about knowing facts.

(2006-11-28) |

happens so often

my next paper, screwed. shall start on psychology, that millions of fact should get into my head please.
i'll be back in melb next year as a tourist. i dont seem to care, i dont knw why. im just so down the hill... dont make sense. bye

(2006-11-28) |


before and after.

(2006-11-27) |

im losing it

i am so fine, not. is it a sign? i am not tired except my mind is. this is not depression. i do have hope, i guess. no motivation but it's common. there's some meaning in life? yes. thanks jess for reminding me that ive a long list of things to do. i'll get there. i will. i'll be fine, really. this is temporary.

(2006-11-27) |

go on. read more..somemore. i update regularly

i will not stop anyone's MOTHER/FATHER/AUNTIE/UNCLE or anyone esle from readin this. this is who i am, how i feel at that point of time. i would say you're shallow and ignorant by judging me base on what i write on my blog.

ray told me this which found it so true and it is proven(according to him). people tend to prejudge one's action/attitude base on one particular situation they witness and not on look into the other external factors like why did he/she bahave like that? is he/she like that all the time? perhaps there's a reason for that behavior. my moral is never, prejudge and make your own conclusion. you may misjudge and regret.

lastly, thank you for being so interested in my not very interesting life (im refering to pple i cant relate to).

(2006-11-27) |

a slight change

okay, since some people said that i have not change my layout for like ages and it is so boring and greyish.
so i changed it. im somehow attracted to grey pictures.

chengwei thinks im weird because i want red and black big pony socks(if there is)

(2006-11-25) |

back off

i woke up from the best ever nap. puts me back to a stable mood. i like to sleep moodswings, stress or anything negative feelings off. pretty weird way but it works. now i am ready.. hopefully not get all pissy and worked up again.

i'll write one random fact about myself in italics in every entry. getting bored of updating my bullcrap

i dont like change(only when i like it)

(2006-11-25) |

dec, please come

life without internet is so fine. ive no life. i have been bumming ard in my small lil hole. texting till my fingers hurt, talking till i get thirsty, watching tv till i sleep. oh yes and last minute cramming which did not help and therefore, i screwed my hoi paper. dont talk about lit. for eap, i fell asleep for a while.

thank you ray for urm helping me 'fight for my rights'.

i still like red and black and hate the number two.

(2006-11-24) |


i hate hoi. i really do. i have not finish reading roman empire and im suppose to do an essay on fucking enlightenment. not done so and do you think i have the time. flip through the extract questions and and and and it is so factual. i got no shit, i dont knw who the pple are even when ive decided to do that time period(s). oh shit oh shit, im FUCKING SCREWED.

im scared for the very first time. i dont knw why. i knw it's important and i am letting it go without trying

(2006-11-22) |


i slept till 7pm. i have finish reading hoi or decided which time period to do. screwed. i never seem to finish reading enlightenment. i am going to screw this paper up and i CANNOT SCREW any paper up esp hoi because i need at least 75% to get in the course.

the heat is killing me. i am so frustrated, lazy and helpless. i cant seem to get anything done. fuckkkking shit, i hate this. i hate hoi. why must i do hoi? fuck, why am i so stupid also? sorry but i like to put in minimal to get me to where i want. now i knw i cant so i am sad and feeling useless.

my hand is fucking swollen, itchy and gross.

(2006-11-21) |

good 'morning'

my exams start on tuesday! i am so screwed for it. i have not started. i need to start on literature but i am feeling so sleepy. i need a vanilla latte!
i cant wait for wednesday because by then the two most dreadful papers - lit & hoi will be done and over.

i am going to start doing my work. poooooooo. maybe i'll watch one or maybe two video first. byeeee

(2006-11-20) |

youtube addiction

youtube is so damn addictive. ive been watching it for hours when i am suppose to start studying! stupid ai qing mo fa shi is like never ending.
im going to fail my exams at this rate
on friday i still can 'celebrate the start of my exams'

okay, no more temptation from ppl like joce who finish her exams. have fun in spore okay! i'll see you soon! missmiss you!

i'll be back in spore on 12th dec(night) and i'll be going to japan on 14th dec!

(2006-11-19) |

i am a lil unwell

am i happy or am i unhappy?
i dont knw how to differiate them. only when alcohol is in my blood then the smiles and laughter comes out so naturally but am i happy? for that moment, i am.
fun and happiness is different. having fun does not mean happy. happy does not need to be fun.

why does it always seem like yesterday was always a happier day then today?

(2006-11-18) |


my cousins and their family are here on a holiday so met up with them for meals and brought them ard.

with my cousins

nothing interesting that has happened. ive been going out everyday till late. watch only one session of drama.
i might be going out later, MIGHT; most prob.
i need to get started on lit and hoi. screweeeeeeeddddd for my exams.

i have krispy kreme thanks to chris! straits kitchen when i get back!

(2006-11-17) |

over ..

fired hired? hired fired?
drama exam ended. did not go over time and we did pretty well for a half new script done last night.
i could not print my last minute drama poster this morning because of my 8.5mb file size. i am going to paste it tmr and give it to stephen!

ive five papers to go

(2006-11-15) |

no more .. classes!

this is why drama class is so fun..

the games we play, our tutor being so sporting

fun times - practicing for the exam

(go power ranger!)

we'll think of an ending

the class with stephen

my drama tutor, mentor

i drag myself out of bed for eap
the class which i hate for the timing, twice a week at 9am.
class party today!

we surprised sara with an early bday/thank you cake!

really good attendance today compared to 6 people on reg basis. my 4 eap class of the term(i guess)

some of my eap mates/class

no more tutorials/lectures ever in trinity. booooooo. exams are coming
- some photos are not clear but you can right click to view them, i suggest not actually because i look like crap in them

(2006-11-14) |

sleepy heads

ive drama meeting in 40minutes time. i dragged my sorry ass out of my comfort bed, shall start memorizing soon.

i did not sleep the whole damn night again because i went over to ashley's. the rest were not sleeping but playing truth or dare. got bored of it so ashley and i went into our anti-social world by surfing the net. at 7am, we went for breakfast at pancake palour. ashley and joon wanted to go for 9am service(wowww!) told me to go also. guess what? 4 of us ended up sleeping during the sermon. i felt so bad.
came back and crasssssshhhhh.

(2006-11-12) |

by request of taa.

i had a fun time going to doncastle at 5am for pancakes, st kilda's to see the sunrise. chris send joce and i back. talked, stone, ordered dominoes. love the brownies! the breeze calm my soul down. slept at 4pm and now im awake. i cant sleep!
1) think of 15 short bits of interesting stuff about yourself and they gotta be true
2)come up with 5 false statements regarding yourself, but for fun's sake keep them in the threshold of possibility
3) jumble all of them up and list them in any order
4) post in your blog and let people guess which are fake
5)get 5 others to do the same

1. i change my hair colour almost every season
2. i hate the sun
3. i have a lovely maroon mobile phone
4. i cant play the piano or violin
5. i do not take maths
6. i have a sweet tooth
7. i love almonds
8. i am going to university next year
9. i studied in st nicks for ten years
10. i sleep with the lights on
11. i like watching oprah
12. i like doodling
13. i am a tv addict
14. i only like wearing havaianas and birks.
15. i spoilt two cameras
16. i go for eap regularly
17. my attendance is currently 85%
18. i am a neat freak
19. i get red very easily
20. i want to get a havaianas slipper float!

oh ya, i choose ashley, chengwei, manpin, melvin.c and valine!

(2006-11-11) |

but why

how often do i ask why? how often do i want to ask why?

i felt so much better after talking to the two adults over dinner/drinks, napping. i dont like their conclusion. joce, thanks for giving up your weekly partying to accompany me with your life(accounting).

i feel so down. i cant please anyone. i knw what's bothering me and i knw it more it's because i am selfish. not a right time when im moodswinging and i expect something. just ignore me. this sucks. i'll be better, soon.

chengwei & edward, thank you for the package! it was sucha surprise. who says, "i do not knw my address" so you've to send through chris! i promise i'll send you two cute-ass packages too.

(2006-11-11) |

so much for being hardwking

i came to school for nothing. m&c tut was canceled and ron bell did not give prior notice. like sending an email wont kill? i woke up and rush for nothing. i am so sleepy but i dont feel like going back if not i'll be too lazy to get out again. i am in the comp lab now and this mac desktop crashed on me twice.

omg, i am getting like goosebumps. someone is playing some gross chinese song which is so soft and sounds creepy. gheeeee.

i went to the library last night! drama meeting was at the park, was pretty fun and production actually. drama meeting again today, tmr. this is a drama-matic week.
the weather is as bad as my mood.
oc season4 is showing nowww, i miss the first episode. why cant it repeat during late night?

(2006-11-09) |


i am so fucking pissed off. i want to go to the steam and steam all my frustrations out but for now, i'll sleep it out.

im sorry but i cant take it anymore. im so tired of hearing the same thing and you never ever hear me out. you dont want to listen. if you dont want to listen then dont call then we wont get pissed off or spoil each other's day.

my dad just called, he made me feel so much better. it's just his luck that he has sucha daughter like me who always want more and is never contented. i dont remember a time when my dad said NO to me. once agan, he assured me that i'll get my way. oh well, he only can choose one to please? heh

(2006-11-08) |

no photos

firstly, HAPPY belated BIRTHDAY VALINE!
my stupid internet connection is screwed. so yes, i'll upload photos soon.

3nov in detail.
checked in to grand hyatt. got a pleasant surprise about getting a presidential suite.
bum ard, tea at the lounge.
went to do hair and make up.
the ball with lucky draw, dance, taking loads of photos. it was super funny, i won the best hair ordament award.
after party at hush. it was all good fun, was super happy high. i wish i did not remember some parts though. i like it when chris/joce/or anyone esle goes, did you remember...? and i dont. so i wont imagine it and feel so wth, i was like that?.
chili padi's after that.

the only bad thing - i drop my camera and it spoilt. i am broke and my parents just spend 5k two weeks ago. =[ my mum is pissed off with me so yes, no funds.

woke up, pack up. went for buffet breakfast.
checked out. went back to college sq. went to crown. was so tired tht the rest also left early. so so sorry. came home ,crashed.

my 'ordament'

second last month

my freaking internet is very cranky that frustrates the hell out of me.
alot of things to do, frustrating again. going for class is sucha chore, so tiring. i declare holiday tmr.

ive nothing much to update actually but ive the urge to punch someone with my strengthless jab but it still counts okay..
anyways, my laptop battery is running. an entry soon. with photos if i feel less lazy.

(2006-11-02) |

lovely monday

koko black: mocha; ice chocolate; platter

i finally drop maths!
philip(maths tutor): you came for tutorial just to tell me you drop maths?
shuk: nope, i JUST drop maths.
it was just my day. glen jennings was at swanston.
oh yes my attendance percentage went up.

i hope i did something good. hmmms.
i waste money. i dare not check my bank acct.

(2006-10-31) |


my msn is spoil(yes again) so i wont be coming online that often. good thing i guess. hopefully, i'll study then. finals in less than a month.

this is happening too soon. trinity will be ending in two weeks!
daylight saving starts tmr and the time difference(melb-spore) will be three hours instead of two.

37 days to holidays/end of exam/valedictory!
days to exam? hmmms.

(2006-10-29) |


click on 'your turn' to comment. tagboard is still the best but since it is not working, cbox/tagworld's message box is too small. haloscan is a better option i guess.

(2006-10-25) |


being under eighteen sucks at times. i have hundred and one(maybe less) forms to fill up and report to. not that i want to grow old can the govt lower the legal age of such frustrating documents to like 17? i feel for the army boys. today stephen ask shixian and i to fill up some form about when are we going to return to melb again. i wrote 15feb07, he wrote 15feb09. LOL. like why those who deserve cant defer while those *$%^%^ ones can. i mean all should be allowed to defer. not like few months older make them wiser for national service.

i do not want to be in their shoes.

chengwei, this is for you to show that im not jealous and i feel for you too. i'll see you more often in spore next year =]

(2006-10-24) |

monday again

my monday is very slack. i got out of bed at 12pm.

i went to the doctor. paid fifty bucks consultation just for my swollen, infected hand. it is hurting and i cannot leave my hand hanging down. it must be upUPUP all the time. everyone's going to laugh at me. i dont want to go to school but ive drama.
exam timetable is out already. i end on the last day.

my weekends came and disappear before i could realise. this is so sad.

my cousin is very nice, he pass me my stuff from spore. my parents too. thankyouthankyou.

i shall leave you with a spastic face of mine so you ppl will remember me!

(2006-10-24) |


i am at leeper library. i have officially no more assignments left, i finish the stupid eap presentation where i crapped for ten minutes. i did not even look at my overheads. i had no speech or whatsoever. it was pretty bad la but i cant be bothered. like what can i talk about credit card? i even talk about paypal, ebay to waste time.

now i am killing time. laters

(2006-10-20) |

simple as it is

i am just so tired of everything, pretty much. perhaps i am thinking too much but i cant help myself because it has happened. why cant it just fade away. it's like a rose with hidden thorns. very bad analogy but i cant think of any at the moment.
i no longer am bothered with explaining because it can get so tiring and it's a never ending process. i am refering to no particular issue.

everything will get better after i get through three dreaded tutorials. school wise at least.

now all i want is to have a good sleep.

(2006-10-18) |

biggest shock everrrr.

this really happen to me and it is not a drama.
i got robbed.
this is what happen.
ashley, lu and i were walking to lygon street ard ten. i was dazing, thinking walking a lil behind them and suddenly some fucked up guy grabbed my bag. i panic and scream. ash, lu ran after him. me too but was stop by this bunch of black teens trying to be oh so helpful by saying they live at the 18, 19 floor? wtf right. the security guard brought me up and down again for no apparent reason. ash and lu called the police.
went to the police station, very frustation trip.

it was really a very huge shock, scare to me. when i close my eyes, i actually see images of that robber.

ashley msg my phone asking them to return my ids. they did, through the guard. obviously the security guards said found it at the rubbish bins? oh well, at least i got back my two most impt cards, neoprints, tram card.

thank god ashley and lu were with me. i could not have survive this ordeal without them. thank you so damn much!

went for real late dinner/supper. came back to college sq, told the security guards. they let me in to my room. told me this was the 3rd case. im at ashley's place now because i am too scared to stay at my place. those robbers still have my keys and access card. i do sound so paranoid but yeah.

at least ive my phone with spore sim card with me. my bag, wallet, keys are gone.
my parents were also very concern. thankful for them

i guess i'll have to repeat this again and again.

(2006-10-16) |


i have learnt a very hard and good lesson. never leave your work till the very last minute. even if i want to at least be something simple and less tedious.

(2006-10-13) |


i think stress makes one ask funny question? LOL

†ExilE†™ 279: wads it called?
†ExilE†™ 279: I-??
†ExilE†™ 279: the thing tt i have
†ExilE†™ 279: tt i use to walk around and play so i can listen to music

obviously an IPOD? DUHHH.

†ExilE†™ 2797 25663 says:
think i attach a gay magazine to my essay tommorow and pass it up

i am dead. i wrote only my intro. i need to find information from my books to continue. so so frustrating. the book is so thick, all books look the same to me. my memory is bad or rather i have not read it so i have to find and read the books which i give up after one page and move on.. so in the end nothing is done
but something MUST BE DONE
okay, i need to go do it like now as i always repeat.

(2006-10-13) |

part 2

i have not started writing my essay nor finish reading the books. I HAVE TO START, i have said this too many times till i am tired of hearing the voice in my head go, "shuk, please do your media essay if not reality BITES and it hurts"
i bought ice latte so hopefully it helps me through. 1500words! the weather is killing me.

five hard weeks ahead after handing up the essay. eap presentation, drama prac/exam, catching up on wk.. one at a time, essay first.

(2006-10-12) |

reality BITES

i have a pile of books waiting for me to read. i am so frustrated. every single shit article i read describes the reality prog. that's not what i need! i want to sleep!

(2006-10-12) |


hope you did enjoy your bday - the expected surprise! hahaha. thanks for the dinner! (i so want to post your very GLAM photos up here but it's not with me)
went for my first 9am class for the term and psy lecture after ages. 3 cheers for me okay!
drama was good! we are progressing well.
went back, slackedddd then went for ashley's bday dinner at coretta's/
at 12am sharp, chuiyen, czeyang, jeremy and i went to surprise ashley with a cake!
have not started on my media essay yet.
MY MSN IS FIX! CHRIS, you smartass! first class honours okay!

how long must this go on?

(2006-10-10) |


ive to do my media essay soon. it is due this week. why did i choose something NOT related to my life? i chose to do on reality tv which i find it amazing yet boring. it is slowly losing it's appeal. every season of survivor is so similar except the different bitch fights? which i guess is the highlight of the show. i do not understand why was i so addicted to big brother? ten pple lock up in a damn house with no connection with the outside world. it is so fuckin sadistic if you think about it.
i mean reality tv, it is not that REAL. the producers delude the public. they create the excitment by tons of editting, showing one side of the story and play on the audience emotions. the tv audience can relate better to such shows because they feel that the contestants are just ordinary pple like them and thus they would feel for the contestants. so so so, everyone gets angry over nothing but the clever editting of the editors. get hooked because the next episode cannot be predicted? oh well, if you think again, the scenarios are about the same except with different pple and extent of it. reality tv prog arent as REAL. neither are the relationship shown. the amount of behind-the-scenes cover up and contracts sign are not stated. think again, before you want to vote for the contestant. it is just a bloody gimmick
& of course the sex appeal. perhaps that's worth a call or more. i mean after all, that's the most realistic part of reality tv. dont you think? no editors will be in a right mind to edit of that part huh.

sorry for that useless rant about reality tv. i dont how am i going to churn out 1500 words of facts about the impact of reality tv and why is it so successful and so on..

(2006-10-09) |

there's always a reason

i overslept and miss eap again. anyhows, today is the damn due date for uni applications. i applied for three univ. mainly Bachelor of Arts or Communications. for my 3rd choice for melb uni, i put Landscape Architecture. i thought it was amusing. if i do get in that, i'll be. hahahhahah. because i dont care. not like i want to get in melb uni. i sound like some ozford successful applicant but nahhhh, not that good.

yest night/morning was like dramamama, you can call it. watched step up again! super duper nice! alotalotalot of stuff unmention.

need to go hand up my univ applications.

(2006-02-05) |


my holidays have ended. i woke up at 12.40pm today(tuesday) when i had a 9am class. it 4am now btw. i deserve that 10 hours of sleep since i had not slept for 24hours. ashley said dont go back, sleep over at her place which also equals NO SLEEP AGAIN.

getting back more or less all my results later. triple shock. if i screw them up, i can go back to spore to sell bubble tea. am i contradicting myself by applying for univ?

my last weekend past so damn fast! at least it was pretty good.
term4term4term4 is said to be the most horrible, hectic and heavy(% of marks).

more contradiction, i did not knw univ application can be so tough. not only the application forms are dumb, for rmit i've to crap with sense. i more or less decided where i want to go.

the world wide web is misleading.
follow your heart or ask.

(2006-10-04) |


i cant believe WE ACTUALLY MET AGAIN(melb is bloody small), you're in melb, we stay in the same compound, we started talking again and are still friends(cheers to that). anyway, happy 20th birthday ray!

i woke up at 4pm today. holidays are ending! i do not want to go to school, wake up early and get my results. i want dec to come okay! ive limited internet. oct please come. i would rather dec if i had the choice. byeeee!

(2006-01-29) |

mighty TEN

click on my 'journal' link. it's specially to ten pple. i must repeat this. if you think, you're not one of them it does not mean i do not care and friend you. i am just following the instructions. i'll write specially for you if you request

(2006-09-28) |


all the best jr for your ippt! i want to see you in dec so dont get enlisted so fast k!

my internet limit is like almost used up. so sad can. aiyah. i need to sleep. the conference call made me so emo. shut up. i am seldom emo. okay good night

(2006-09-27) |


i guess i should update. i promise to do so. been pretty busy enjoying my holidays.

complications here and there. lazy to elaborate and do not want to explain.

been sleeping ard 6am almost everyday and waking up during the late afternoon.

a very long entry ahead. my day starts late because of my very screwed body clock. pretty much what ive been doing. i do about the same things almost everyday but well.. i like it. i also see the same people almost everyday esp ashley. hahaha. and i am very lazy to name them all, not like they read this =]

today - went to sofia's for dinner. alotalot of food. went to crown for like no reason. then back.
sunday - woke up at 4plus in the afternoon. went for dinner at chinabar. ended up going to crown later! watch devil wears prada, i like that show! im so going to buy that book. arcade. then supper. home at ard 4am.
saturday - woke up at 6pm after sleeping at 9am. went for breakfast with joce and friends. came back slept. dinner at the cafe. then it was cards! learnt how to play bridge! and and played striped bj. all i had to do was to take out my ear rings and slippers. poor cze yang striped 4 times. i totally hope he cant find my blog. aft that, movies at ashley till like 6am.
friday - longgggggggg day. lunch at max brenners. walk ard the city. went for steamboat dinner, cell. came back, change and went to lavish. it was super packed! i was super duper stone. with 5 hours of sleep. supper then played truth or dare at cs till 8am! crazy shit.
thursday - complications or rather. anyways, went to watch the material girl then silent hill. went to crown arcade till closing! supper at chilli padi's.
wednesday - breakfast. chadstone. later in the night, arcade till it close again. supper and home. oh ya i cut my hair.

six more days of holidays!

(2006-09-26) |


my msn is not working. i'll update like soon.

(2006-09-22) |

to my sister,

manpin, i am so so sorry for venting my anger on you. i wish i was able to do so without the help of telecommunication and start slamming doors. this came pretty late bcos i was so exhausted and moodswingy that i 'forgot' to feel bad and now i am feeling so. call me k, i promise i'll not raise my voice(maybe you lower your phone's vol) even if my room's on fire. i will still be cool, calm and speaking very sweetly.
now, be very honoured that i dedicated this whole entry to you. you're the first person ive done so and it's so long.
i miss you!

(2006-09-19) |

good morning

5.15am. my sleeping hours are very screwed. crowncrowncrown & drum mania(though i suck at it). there's still so much more stuff to do. i need some free time. hehh, spore? okay urm i dont knw. i'll update more soon.

(2006-09-19) |


it's 4am. i wanted to sleep at 2. sheesh like what was i doing? im weird and queer. i like doing funny, weird, boring stuff.

quite update. these weekend had been real good. highlight - bbq in the afternoon! you cant do this in spore or you'll die of heat. rather cool! so glad i went though i had to like wake up at 9am. went to albert park. had alot of fun and got to knw new pple.
waking up to get out for lunch, suppers.

i wish i could fast forward things i dont wish to face, pause the fun moments and hope it stays forever and ever. life's pretty good but..
more for my new private journal update. will publish some random thoughts here and there so i invite you to kpo once in a blue moon.

i better go sleep. need to wake up at ten for breakfast. nightttts

(2006-09-18) |

holidays & more holidays

nineteen days more of holidays! very fun! my body clock is rather screwed by sleeping at 5am and 6am.

yest i was like a freeloader. joce bought lunch for me and ashley bought me dinner at coretta's. the reason being, i am nice. after that was spend watching movies at ashley's and supper and more movie and back to sleep.

and crown two days back and three days back. the arcade is addictive. shopping in between too.

i cant wait to watch devil wears prada. melb is slow for this one but well. going to watch the 'preview' next week.

waiting for my laundry then out i go.

(2006-09-15) |


my headache is irritating me but you know what, my exams are over!
now i have all the time in the world to do all my slowslow lazy bum stuff like reading my trashy magazines(yes i find it very interesting) ,i feel like reading a book, sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeep(what's new), dvds (OC season3!) and relaxxxxxx.
oh yes & all the holiday must-do like going out, shopping, movies, partying(?! maybe im not up for that, want some slow and peaceful time.)

this holidays will be different bcos i'll be spending it in melb. there'll be no qing to cut my hair, no ____(i forgot her name) to cut my nails, no TC to whine to &
lastly, the family & friends in spore.
i'll be fine. i will just find a good hair place, cut my own nails(i did so after years of 'baby' treatment) and find another TC-alike which will be different.
wonder wonder why didnt i just go back to spore? no urge to.

this is my after exam more cheerful entry. so now, go back to your books. your books are more interesting than this.

and after your exams, go watch john tucker must die! damn funny okay or too stress, go watch it. stress - all gone! have fun mugging and do not read my blog so regularly if there're regular readers (kidding about this part.)

(2006-09-12) |


i'll go sleep now and write my essay only during my exam. not prepared for it but my brain is not functioning. i am serious. i cant even draft an essay out which i dont intend to

(2006-09-11) |

let me share..

this morning i didnt feel like getting out of bed. heh. what's surprising. i got to the examination venue right ON TIME. i checked my seat no, rushed in. this dude was sitting on my table! told the invigilator. he told me to go out and check again. was 296 and still is! told him and he brought me to the front, checked my name and all and back to MY seat. the dude sitting on my table THINKS that he is sitting at the correct place. finally, i had my seat back like 'yay' but NO EXAM PAPER! the invigilator told me to WAIT while he finds the dude's seat. wtf okay. so i asked another lady for an examination booklet. finally got it and manage to start.
this process sure took longer than it took me to type out. to add on, i was fed up so it disrupted my mathematical cells which are very limited btw. at least i finish the paper with alot of doubts and question marks.

one more paper to go.
all the best to all the pple ard the world who are having exams. we suffer together =]

(2006-09-11) |


i just finish watching aussie idol. i feel so unproductive. should have gone out to like mug. oh well, other than youtube ive been munching here & there. sitting on my beanbag and whining. BUT WAITTTTTTTTT. im not all that bad okay. i decided which lit qns to do. thought and jot down some points on what to write. just need to read my 451 notes. then i'll do my essay tmr. say, "GOOD PLANNING!". as for maths. it's a confirm. screwed. gone case situation. shuk & maths are not that good friends. just hope i'll do better than term1, maybe a pass. i'll be jumping! before that, i cant even do a simple interest qns! HOW STUPID CAN I GET?
i'll go bath now and do some productive stuff.

(2006-09-10) |


been watching videos on youtube from the time i woke up till now. a few more episodes to go.. heh. use up loads of mbs. sigh. maybe i should start studying. not very good thoughts on my mind. if it is really so, there are so many factors to consider.. sucha headache okay. i want a new start. im so tired of trying to salvage my past destruction namely bad grades when i knw it is far from possible at this rate. i felt like ive wasted nearly 7 months, thousands of dollars.
perhaps i just need to come to terms with myself that it's okay and move on, move on because there's just one more term, five weeks to go.

im just thinking for no purpose again. yaadaaada. i better finish watching my videos and start doing my work. poooo.
& if you are my friend, dont ask why i think so and what's up with my entry. i will scream even if you'll miles away. i dont mind wasting my phone bills to do so. i repeat dont ask anything about this. if not, DONT READ MY BLOG.
thank you

(2006-09-10) |


i am very unprepared for maths & lit. i do not knw how am i suppose to finish reading the damn book so now i do not intend to. i also have no lecture notes but ive a nice tutor who gives us notes! like phewww. i was digging for them.
& maths. i have in a lost world.

im dying. i'll fail my lit and maths. ahhhhh. i dont want i dont want. ive no motivation to work. hate these two damn subjects. shall force myself.. grrrrrrrrrrrrr

(2006-09-10) |


everytime i want to write more personal issues here, i think twice. i dont mind others reading but i mind the comments (not refering to the tagboard, i love the tags okay!). what i write might matter for that moment so why must i explain and tell you what exactly i am talking about? no offence to anyone. sorry if i sound very straight or rude but there's no need for me to write everything clearly for your easy understanding. this is my small outlet where i can have a say. please dont make me feel restricted. i appreciate the concern, really i do.

(2006-09-09) |


guess what? it's THURSDAY already.
exams starts next MONDAY! the thought of sitting in the cold examination hall stinks.
so screwed for lit and maths. have not even chosen my lit qns yet & read the book yet
& for maths i doubt i can pass it - boo. can any maths genius inject some maths genes into me?

you knw.. this just struck me!

oh yes. i saw chris the adult just now like WOW.

(2006-09-07) |


ive no energy to even be online. it tires me out. i cant sleep well. i end up tossing ard and coughing. so frustrating. i feel so restless. just now i dragged my sorry ass out after taking a nap. actually i had no choice bcos i did not knw that 19 yrs old girl can be that demanding(kidding lah). now im back to my sleepy mode. it sucks being sick. i bought chicken essence, it sounds too disgusting to even be eaten. so please do not comment on it. and also multi-vits, it's green and gross. very very determined to recover so i can eat pocky! =D

(2006-09-07) |


okay shuk. cool down. cool down. calm down. r-e-l-a-x. this is not healthy. you will not recover like that. chill shuk chill. you cant let this affect you. everything's fine and very good.

i meant to rant but i manage to stop myself from doing so.

(2006-09-05) |

the season of spring

flu bug. feeling horrible. headaches.
want to update more but not in the mood. when i feel bored or better, i will.
lovely sunny ppl in spore, i'll not be going back this sept.

(2006-09-03) |

human in robot land (WAHAHAHA)

drama exam is over! ive a video of my grp's performance and i dare not take a glance at it. nooooo. i am not going to upload it unless one can give me 10 good reasons to do so. though there were minor errors here and there. it turn out all good fun. ive thoughts about this but i'll write it in my evaluation sheet. 2% of my english marks, more worth it to write it there. sorry for not being that generous =D

happiness is by choice but then again how easy is it to make a choice?

(2006-08-29) |

after 150 years

drama exam in approx 13hours. i am the lord in the present, robot in the past. imagine imagine imagine me 'fighting' to save my master and shouting to defend my master. oh yes and being the proud lord. in the end, killing the servant who wanted to injuried my master.
i knw you are secretly laughing to your screen imagining shuk being clown-yet-stiff-like. the robot i am is not like those cartoons okay, just a name. we are like human beings. i do sound like a robot now. overshared. neither will i sound like a robot unless i forget my lines. heeeee. hope it turns out okay.

(2006-08-29) |


yest was fun because of trinity's talent show thingy. scream, cheered, stand on tables.. shows how good it is okay! except a few ahem performance but i cheered equally loud. maybe i do lovee screaming? heh. after that, then dinner/dessert at cafe trevi with ashley, chuiyen, yuxi, tzeyang, chongyong. shuk has good memory =D gd fun. enjoyed it.

was FORCEd to go out at 1.45am with chris, joce n others(you guys dont read this so im lazy to list) to party. i drove. not very funny, i failed my theory test. thanks chris and joce for risking your lifes. after that, we were high and laughing with NO alcohol. heh, with alcohol .. imagine.. chris was smoking 3 cigs at a time. fucking funny. i sat there laughing for at least 30min. joce was so high on jagerrbomb, must be the redbull. & the rest thinks we drank one bottle of tequilla or sth before coming. HAHAHA.
now ive a hangover and i am stoning now. watched some cleaning show, very inspired to buy cleaning products!

(2006-08-26) |

never ending

im so exhausted. i need a break to do some slow pace stuff this weekend. finally, hoi essay done! eap presentation done too.
today didnt see myself with the best of mood to be a good student so i skip two lectures, maths & lit. drama, first out-of-class rehearsals

you dont understand, never will you because you dont knw how it's like, what ive gone through and you're not in my shoes. dont try to sound like you do

(2006-08-24) |


happy 17th bday shaunnnnnnnnnnno!
come to melb and burn my lit books! miss those silly pre olevels days!

i wish i could restart everything so i'll make it right this time. my life is such a tragedy, a silent one. i feel as though every step i make, i'll do to regret. the future is so vague. six months past so fast, so fast that the feeling of happiness cannot be felt but down moments will always be lingering and occupying my mind.

(2006-08-21) |

currently, my life is at it's dull-est

never ending amount of school work. i see nights spend doing assignments. my procasination skills have improved by a whole lot and sleep therapy sessions have increased. work productivity have decreased to nearly NIL.

(2006-08-20) |

flu attack

woke up with a block nose, sore throat.
went to hush bar yest. the music was good was still up at the last song. my feet was hurting like crap though, unglamly walk to hungryjacks barefooted.
to cure my sorethroat, i ate chochip cookies.

what a bummmer. i got to do my fucking hoi essay. i'll push it till tonight. more productive at night somehow.


chris, this lil note is for you. thank you for being sucha great friend for listening, advice, suppers, deep talks, the partying and everything. even though at times you bang my door at fucking 4am, call me at weird hours, make me skip my lectures, melb will never be that fun and easy without you!

(2006-08-20) |

good or bad

extension for my essay because of frazer's illness!
the head lecturer apologised to me? dont knw what for but i can accept that. i slept for less than two hours. if serling did not call me in 8.50, i would be still snoozing away. rushed and reach at 9.13 for eap, no pink slip!

the downside
- i dont get a stress-free weekend
- i need to redo my essay
- i cant play my weekends with a sense of accomplishment
- i'll get fine like shit for my book, 5 bucks a hour. i did not even read it.

(2006-08-18) |


i feel better catching up with many pple in spore. i am nice, i said hi to them. sorry my status is misleading lah. i'll try to be online more often okay?
i am really sorry for going offline like that.. stress or my id or super ego or ego (i forget;psychology terms btw) got on me so i pull my cable off. i'll make up with a BYE next time =D miss missssss you all =[
ya ya yeah i miss singapura!

3am and i am still struggling. 400 words. i'll get back to my crapping.

(2006-08-18) |

history of ideas suck

WROTE 170/1500 WORDS.
essays screw my body clock up.

(2006-08-18) |

w h y

not happy. thoughts are lingering, not a right time when i have an essay to start. i am thinking of everything but french revolution.

why do results matter so much? why do getting into melb uni seem like a life and death matter? ironically, i am starting to feel like that. why does every percent count? why does others have to 'gossip' about one's cause of bad grade? why do i wish i have 1 percent more in every single assignment? why why and why?

(2006-08-17) |


1 more essay to go. poooo. not done yet. need to research. one thousand and five hundred words to churn out about the great french revolution. supporting paine because his name sounds cooler =D

(2006-08-16) |


dramatic drama session.
scene 1, repeated 10 times (thankfully im not in it =D). amal could not say what stephen wanted after he repeated 7 times. everyone's patience was tested, i did not flare though my grave started digging while watching it.
amal broke down(wth okay). i comforted her, gave her tissue though i was pissed and sorry for myself. knn, such simple lines =/ i even said to her, "if i was in your shoes, i'll be like that or much worse" (please shoot me if i am like that)

came back, slept till 9pm. went to the cafe to buy pizzaaa. was so hungry. lol. referencing and editting to do.

(2006-08-15) |

one down

i finally finish my psy essay(phewwww) but ive yet to do my referencing. i'll do it tonight. okay, another essay to go. oh my =[
did not go for eap today, could not wake up.. going for drama soon.

(2006-08-15) |


i kinda finish half my psy essay =D issues and referencing to go. i will and i am going to finish it by today(tues).
it's two am! let's see how long i'll be able to last. milo smoothie thingy keeps me awake!

(2006-08-15) |

im random again.

a long long way till i complete my psy essay.. i realise something, ive NO songs in this laptop! dont ask how i survive without music because i can =D going to listen to my old school songs provided my ipod is charged. im outdated. let me share, my favourite song for a while is "summer of 69" by bowling for soup. i think i need to wide my playlist? be nice, send some songs to me and convince me to listen to it because 70% of the time i dont.

(2006-08-14) |


no ranting/whining, just an analogy
cut the wrong wire, the bomb exploded.

(2006-08-14) |

=/= essays

im fucking stress. i hate writing essays. i have not even wrote my body paragraphs or have enough research. two major research essays. i would rather have tons of test everyday. it's not as tough. just bloody study and you will score. now, essays dont require me to study but read, infer, translate/rephrase the knowlegde into my own words and make sense out of that whole chunk of words. finally, bloody thank the authors by referencing and do a biblography.
i cannot afford to anyhow do if not my overall grade will be affected then no university will want me and i'll go to MI(mental institute).

i'll go buy a cup of latte to wake myself up and do start doing my essay.

(2006-08-13) |


im stress till i cant even form a sentence. i mean sentences in an essay.

shopped a lil online. i feel better for the moment. i bidded for a few items.

i should start doing my essay for real asap. have a fun weekend while i'll indulge in my essay(im trying to).

many feelings/thoughts, will type it down here if i cant find any place to. indirectly and as vague as possible of course.

(2006-08-12) |

mess it up

my stomach is churning with acute pain and runs to the toilet. i ate penadol, i knw im stupid but it came to my mind penadol = pain relieve. ashley then suggested the yucky mini black gross tablets. i ate twenty OKAY. drown me some sleeping pills so i'll feel no pain or discomfort.

not a good week either. skipped two tutorials and all lectures except ain't the way to go. with the heavy workload, due dates for two fuckin research essays which ive not done next week (wed&fri). i'll probably land myself in the hospital because of anxiety, Post tramatic stress disorder and depression. not that bad but this bad.

(2006-08-11) |



(2006-08-07) |


caught the time at 3.33am! just got back from lavish, there were too many pple. music at the private area was err house/techno. im allergic to techno. drank very lil =D

i must start doing my work! obviously i'll waste half a day. good morning/night. whatever. have a good wkend!

(2006-08-05) |

some college lovin'

eap essay; m&c presentation; psy research essay; hoi research essay; eap oral presentation; 451(lit book); numerous maths tutorial wksheets; drama

tfs teachers

(2006-08-03) |

in the dark.

i hate obstacles. i'll face many of them while embarking on my journey of essay(s) writing. i shelve everything and ive not decided which qns to do. i can never decide. psy essay, seems too difficult to start. m&c on-the-way, bad feeling but ive gd grp mates, thankful for that. lastly, many maths tutorials and lit books to read.

not in best of mood, very down. nothing seems going that well this term. i hate term three. i want to go home, though i dont miss it so. imprinted in my brain, the image of home symbolises holiday & fun.

(2006-08-02) |

days with mum

spending alot of time with my mum because she's in melb. these few days we went to many shopping places. dinner at waterfront just now, the seafood was real good. time past damn fast, it's already sunday. im leading some kinda tourist life now =] though i shouldnt but at least i should for the time being.

(2006-07-30) |

longest ever entry

my horrible rantings about schoolschool&chores (please do not read if you need to be awake)

why am i so suay? john was laughing so hard because i am in the same group as this very shy person which we'll tailor a role for her. it's fated because we drew lots. not very funny when my other two team mates thought of some robot idea to act it out after waking up aft 3000yrs. my vampire idea will work better. yeah man, i'll do so well. after that my mentor just had to talk to me about, my results indirectly asking me to tell him the reason for not doing well for each every subj i am not please with my grades. two emails regarding seeing the in-charge(s). yeahyeah, i will go for all the support classes & 'meet-up' more with my tutor.

one more thing, i wanted to eat sushi and there's only one box left. the cafe sells fish&chip and all that crap but this guy just had to buy that packet of sushi.
ive not done my laundry and my place is in a total mess. it's week 3 already and tmr is wednesday - 3 tutorials which suck x3. can i not go for lit? & yeah lit support or hoi after that? i have two choices. fucking shit, i-need-to-use-the-help-provided ?


(2006-07-25) |


lynsey's surprise bday party yest! happy 17th birthday! adi and ricky cooked really good food & cherie's salad + krispy kreme =D. drama happened, shall not elaborate. overall, good fun!

one class today! was talking and wasting my time during maths. trying to clear up my place now but it's in a very huge mess. i shall do it tmr. full day ahead & many chores to do.

(2006-07-25) |

another week

this is going to be hell busy week
ive not started on any essays, i mean it. i do not understand futurist, maybe i do but too much reading. i-am-stress. psy essay, dont even knw the qns. TWO major essays. only thing on track, m&c which i hope it'll turn out okay. it's my only subj with that slight ray of light.

only tuesday to clean up my place and start reading hoi. wednesday to monday - mum's coming which equals to MY holiday. i'll plan out a itinery =D shopping all-the-way but the places do matter!

my weekends were spend sleeping (12hours each day) and doing a few other stuff. fruitful i would say.
okay webcamming...

(2006-07-24) |


chengwei, my dinner became supper! because chris and i were chatting with you.

so after the LONG chat, met chris and went to eat HOT food. met a few others and went for a drink then went to joce's place for somemore drinks and silly games.
then i forgot what happen. my head is churning and im hungry(i ate alot of crap already).

okay i need to bath and stuff. kinda running lateee. sheeesh. ive loads of things to do this weekend =[ so i can not go for lect next week but i guess i'll dump everything till the last minute knowing the typical shuk. penadol sucks. okay bye bye!

(2006-07-22) |


the password still the same after so long. my memory is still good.
hsu shuk mun is having a good time drinking. her emo stage is over because the weekends are here!

updated by the damn bored, chengwei.

(2006-07-21) |

even my msn's down

i need a ray of light. i feel so damn lousy. my life's never hit sucha low point for a long long while. i ruin my life, half my future. i wish my parents will scold me or punish me, they trust me so much and will not do so. appreciate them so much for that.
i need to feel better.

(2006-07-20) |

history repeats

i dont like to look back. images of the past will remind me and i'll start missing and go on about how i wish everything was like two years back, how ive grow, how everything have changed, the weather being ever changing and disgusting and how i regretted not doing this or salvaging any particular situation.

not a very good string of thoughts.
monday blue arrives. have a good week all.

(2006-07-17) |

sleep therapy

i slept for 17hours, so deep in sleep that i heard no msg or calls.
a horrible, moodless, depressing week with the return of results. this hit me so hard because i can wave goodbye to melb uni.
first week of school with so many assignments. i am not kidding when i say MANY + research and many articles to read.
as if other non-academic stuff are not keeping me too busy to touch my work, i bought a psp. bad move i guess. think again, i'll shop less and spend less.

(2006-07-16) |

term THREE

france lost > monday blues > flunk my maths though 'great improvement' of 9marks.

woah. by wed, i'll get a heart attack. my dad ask me to enjoy myself? okay la, i'll try to NOT enjoy. be rebellious what, the cool thing? so i'll do well in this term. 9am EAP class tmr =[

(2006-07-11) |

just for donuts

krispy kreme have the nicest ever donuts! went all the way there after i reach melb! took hell long time to get there bcos it's at zone3 and we had to change trains! when ashley and i finally found our way, we saw the veryvery long queue.
finally, we got our donuts!

lack of updates for the past few days. had a real wonderful holiday and it has come to the end so is world cup. i miss everyone esp my family which ive not expressed it but i missmiss my mum esp for all the things she've done for me even if ive been so childish like specially going back hm to collect my phone when i forgot because i was moody. i feel so bad.
really exhausted but im watching the world cup!

(2006-07-09) |


i wasted my whole damn day because i cannot sleep so i am so fucking irritated. i tried to sleep but i cant. i have not been sleeping well and i lack sleep. this sucks. and ive a flu. tmr, i better not waste my day. suppose to do a few stuff today but ended up not doing and ive been dragging for wks. i hate making appts esp when i end up not going and i have to make again.
urghhhh. this is sucha bad, moodswinging day.

i am so irritated, frustrated, pissed off with myself. everything is not going right.

(2006-07-05) |


could not sleep so im fated to watch the match! ive been tossing and turning, ended up watching serials.

check this out!

countless of slips turn into scrap paper. this is an amusement by mistake. it's worth a gamble.

(2006-07-05) |

this is so right

i enjoyed the catch up session over prata and teh cino with dL yest. as much as i enjoyed the other meetups, movies and fun.

the odds for germany is going up so i'll buy as late as possible.
i hate sg pools, i dont win any money and i have to queue with those ah peks&ah sohs who buy toto and 4d for at least 10minutes. the queue is like a snake and those people stare at me because i shade while i queue to save time. very funny meh? fuckin idiots. im going to repeat the same cycle later. sheesh, im running late for lunch. byee

(2006-07-04) |

revolves ard the screen

ive been facing the screen too much. tv, theatre & mobile phone screen esp. watched 4 movies since i came back. 4 movies after exams. the world cup and random serial episode. ive been neglecting the comp screen a lil? and lack of sleep.

photos to upload. will do it soon.
brazil lost =[ portugal won with extra time. lost 4 matches in a row.
i declare monday - no time management day for me! i will do what i feel like. why so fast monday already? it feels like ive been here for a few days only.

brain cells fried and vanish. senseless update. okay byeeee.

(2006-07-03) |


soccer stole my sleep, energy and cash but why am i still watching it? im tired. i slept two hours today and had a very long day. terribly late in meeting part of seafood clan(im so sorry). too exhausted to get out to watch the matches. scv is just good enough.

(2006-07-02) |


#1out with anthea & taa.

#2 i collected cash from spore pool's booth personally for the first time!
#3 i cut my hair yest and it is shorrrrrt
#4 the weekends are filled up(more or less) =D
#5 soccer

(2006-06-30) |


the weather is killin me. i am still stuck on aussie timezone. not good at all. i was too lazy to get out this morning. sorrry, tmr i promise i wont wake up and snooze off again. no soccer tonight. why did spain lose? i am just being very random. i got to go out now. going to use the public transport to show my 'appreciation'.

(2006-06-29) |

im back home

all been rather good
went back to the east today; tampines mall¢ury mall for the first time and to geylang(for decent legal business). time to explore the north&west of this island too.

italy won and im so happy BUT my msg did not go through and there goes my bet(jerome =[). im off to sleep.
& be nice,
ask me out! i am extremly free or watch soccer with me.!

(2006-06-27) |

makes no difference

im weird because i chose a morning flight. urm, i did not sleep the whole night because i knw i'll oversleep for sure and miss my flight?